An iPhone User Tries Wordament It’s Too Complex Hilarious Post Ensues



As you may or may not know Microsoft has made a version of Wordament for iOS now and it got an in depth review over at iMore. Well not really a review it’s more like an iUser complaining for 500 words or so about a game he has no grasp on how it works. After the jump I will post some samples of this post. Mind you it’s not all iPhone users that can’t grasp this game my sister has an iPhone (I know, I know, I did what I can for her but she’s got her own free will) and she LOVES Wordament and is thrilled to have it on her iPhone now. Most of these “things wrong” with Wordament are simple misunderstandings because either the reviewer does understand the game or simply likes to bash anything Microsoft.   Statements like:

you’re then dumped into a screen filled with tiny text and no clear way to start your first game. After jabbing at some names on the board, that either did something, or wasted enough time for something automatic to happen. Either way, a game started with a countdown timer.

I like to call this the “leader board” it’s really handy if you want to see how you did against the other 1500 people that are playing at the moment.

(Game) interface elements are unnecessarily crowded together, the gameplay instructions butted against the un-labeled back button, the rotate button crammed between the board and what looks like an add for the game you’re already playing (and when the banner goes away, simply crammed against the board and nothing.)

That would an ad at the bottom cause you know the game is free and everyone got to make money.  Than the ad goes away!  The horror!  Sorry how’s about it stays there THE ENTIRE GAME for you?  Would you like that better?

If you’re screen turns off, or if you hit the Home button to exit, when you come back to Wordament you’re inexplicably shown the Microsoft splash screen and the last page of the intro screens again,

Really? If your screen turns off you haven’t touched it for at least 30 seconds and you are no longer playing the game!  Same thing if you hit the home button.  Small Hint:  If you open your “multitasking menu” to get back to game it takes you right back to where you were.

Once a game ends you’re shown another screen filled with tiny text and you can swipe around and tap to see words you missed. There’s no Next button, however, and it seems at some point (another invisible timer?) you’re forcibly moved to the leaderboard again, where there’s still no New Game or Rematch button, and after a few seconds, you’re suddenly playing again.

Again IT’S A LIVE GAME!  There is no rematch or new game button because the game starts on it’s own it has to it can’t wait for you or start early for you.  IT’S A LIVE GAME!

Despite it being 3 months post-iPhone 5 launch, Wordament doesn’t support the new 16:9 screen resolution, so it’sletterboxed.

This quote is my personal favorite.  So there are say 100 million iOS devices out there perhaps 5 million of them are iPhone 5s so now we need to do special coding for 5% of the installed base? (these are made up numbers but you get the point.)  Bravo!  That is how important you are that the letter boxing issue Apple created themselves by not making their devices wider and taller need to be fixed by Microsoft for you? Because you can’t waste half an inch of your tiny 4 inch display.  Bravo!

No I am not making this up you can read the entire post here.  In fact you probably should so can see that I am not in fact making this up real writers that write for a living actually do produce post like these.